terrorgore

my new permission to PASS PORTS arrived this week! it kind of feels like a blank sketch-book. & it's so awesome! if i ever get some kind of retarded homesickness for the sunburnt cuntree all i will ever have to do is open up this wee book that captures all of the nice bits in cute little pictures.
here are some of my favourite pages-->


it's an OPEN ROAD, & an EMU!

( the word 'australia' appears as a continuous wave under uv light )


i was going to make my hair orange today but then i really enjoyed how i looked in the visa photographs i had to get taken today. this is not me being a vain fuck because i usually don't enjoy how i look at all but i am putting that behind me on the strength of these pictures. thanks ted's camera shop!




also mr hot radpants vegetarian man in the post office gave me his DIGITS today when i went to post my canadia work visa application. win! i like when i meet nice boys in post offices/book stores/call centres/livejournal/etc as it usually requires some kind of pre-shag dialogue. i have probs met reasonably legit men in bars or whatevs too, but would have to rack my brains to recall.

b: hi, what can i get you?
hipster: bring me a macchiato, fair trade ethiopian blend.
b: we're out of ethiopian.
hipster: ah well, just bring me the next best west african country.
b: ...ethiopia is in east africa.
hipster: whatever.

hi spewjournal,

still here, chugging along. probs more spluttering. lurching. yes. you raaaang?
i have been trying, what feels like extra special hard, to feel/act/pretend like i am more of a person, than some vessel of late-bloomed surprise angst. that being said, a lot of folk i know i have told me Not Encouraging tales of how their teen sads were nothing - NUTHIN - compared to the Profound Bummed-ness that hit them in their early 20's. well. fornicate that, i say. look at me GRIN. UNWAVERINGLY. sometimes. i have been practicing....

mah folks visited from new zillun this last week which has been rad, they did all the things they do like nagging me about library fines before saying "hallo", taking me grocery shopping for stuff i can't afford [walnuts! citrus fruits! calcium-enriched soy milk! OH MY] & dad regaling me with a million hectic sounding but glorious tales of indochina, like being in a canoe off the coast of east timor & getting robbed by pirates, then buying another canoe off a tribe in papua & getting robbed for every last clam & having to walk back to port moresby naked because they'd stolen their underwear. i seriously appreciate my dad a lot more nowadays hey, ha ha. my mum gave me some very warm gloves to wear because she said she was worried about my hands getting cold in mongolia. more than anything though, they just gave me a lot of love & general GoodVibes which i am in quite serious want of, so it was pretty fucken lovely.

i am trying to fight this thing that i feel sidling up on me. some days it wells up KABLAMMO! like an icelandic geyser & there is reeeaaallly not much i can do other than wring my hands & be distressed with the state of everything, & do things like buying tickets to forebodingexciting festivals in the heart of the sun, nevada, then wondering how the fuck i am meant to get to black rock city when i don't know anybody going. &, probably more importantly than desert logistics, i've just been trying not to make the great self image/self esteem axis of bullshit so... sharply focused... i find it weird how girls seem to often become far more preoccupied with desirability than desire. is it any wonder so many of us end up with no fucken clue what we actually like, & how to say no to what we don't?

i am also trying really hard to make myself go & socialise with people. to be honest there have been absolutely no new characters in this [the final!] act of Canberra [tragedy? comedy of errors? guh] that have been anything approaching amazing or at all interesting with the exception of liz my housemate, & allen, & some of the girls from essen, & anyone i knew before, well, to be fair, i did pretty much indicate "sure, we're friends, but what about all those other millions of people out there i haven't met yet?" what indeed?

i've been reading a lot, writing, drawing some pretty crappy shit that's fun to draw, stencilling some, printing out pages off the guardian website so i can tape them together like it's a newspaper & i'm still in scotland reading the daily guardian [shut up, i would seriously move back to the uk just for that fucking newspaper], riding my bike at weird hours [exacerbating what is apparently now freely-mingling swine flu], cooking, blah blah. doing all that junk i wanted to do when i go my mitts on the time. but i still just get really fucken indignant a lot, thinking it is just silly or farcical to try & pretend like i am having some semblance of a life here.
liz says it is probably simply because i'm a nomad, & sitting still wouldn't make me happy, even if the background was a lot more wonderful than here. i think i just about blushed when she said it. it is probably the nicest thing the could have said..

i think i am actually quite lonely, too? [i know i am very sad] i dunno. don't get me wrong, as much as i'm not a me-fan i'm a pretty big fan of me-time, & if the kind of boy i like exists here i am not aware of it, but, yeah. what was it she said? i'm just so sick of all these obnoxious, extroverted, pseudo-bohemian losers. oh, & the amazing Coma Fuck? yeahhh, i am well sick of that now. but i dunno what i'd do with a boy if i had him. ha! i think that is actually what feels weirdest about this impending departure.. there is no boy to fall in love with then fuck off to another hemisphere while he's down the shops getting milk. should probs get on to that.

anyway, it feels like i've been trying HARD A LOT scrunching my face up all concentrated-like, inching slowly towards something that is not quite so shit. PERSEVERE! & so forth.


here is me hiding behind liz & some girl at the third dinner part-ay i went to on satdee [GASTRONOMY, HO!]. we had liz's friend jules from brisbane staying with us for the week who we decided to make our native slave boy ["boy! prepare our dinner now!" "boy! fetch my nail buff!"] who, deciding to call attention to the apparent bourgeois nature of the part-ay, stole a book or something, & an avocado, & liz found out after we got home [after i asked the cabbie to marry me because he fit my bike in the cab & spoke FOUR - COUNT 'EM - FOUR languages including pashtu] & got SUUUUUUUUUPER mad & made him walk home & return them. the end.

jesus shiteating christ

Horning also proposed that the role of hipsters may be to "... appropriat[e] the new cultural capital forms, delivering them to mainstream media in a commercial form and stripping their inventors...of the power and the glory...". He argues that the "...problem with hipsters" is the "way in which they reduce the particularity of anything you might be curious about or invested in into the same dreary common denominator of how “cool” it is perceived to be", as "...just another signifier of personal identity." Furthermore, he argues that the "hipster is defined by a lack of authenticity, by a sense of lateness to the scene" or the way that they transform the situation into a "self-conscious scene, something others can scrutinize and exploit".


on that note HALLO KREMLIN BAR!

hard evidence of unlikely punters plantations, techno & conceptualism at the helm of cool, thrashing out a place amongst old favourites like the british aristocratic reserve

hey, epicly shit canberra shit! put this ticket to burning man in yer pipe & fucken smoke it

i'm sorry to sound like such a broken record, "egads, everything i do & feel now is so shit but SOON I'LL BE DOING & FEELING STUFF THAT'S NOT SHIT RIGHT?" but, eh. this is the shit-depository! up to date bulletins on bridget losing her shit, i'm sorry, LIFE? PLZ HOLD CANBERRA IS ON THE LINE! i'm going to spit out one more issue of Screwdriver Guilts before i go, the zine has been a pretty positive outlet for all my feelings of "oh jesus wtf, but wow, look at this cool stuff over here!" but i think i need to use the next issue to purge all this shit the fuck out of myself, make something of the wangst, cut/paste/photocopy & distribute, leave town. it's not art, probs not even with a very very small a, maybe a silent a, rrrrt, the rrrrt is also not therapy but it only costs a dollar a copy at officeworks. LETTERS FROM EXILE. doestoevsky got nothin on this shit ! i guess i kindof knew what i signed up for when i came back but... no, not really. how low can you go? the answer is simple, buddy, it's bottomless... i have no intention of sticking around to find out....

i only got it back so i have photo id to get my passport [on that, JESUS FUCK applying for a passport is a swim upstream shit-eating bureaucracy creek. this is the only time i ever had to get a new one instead of renewing it & i can tell you now it's fucking retarded]. but yeah. when it got suspended all that time ago i never bothered getting it back because bicycles are awesome & petrol is stupid but then after having kids, growing old & dying in the line at the guv'ment shopfront today the lady was like "here, have a full licence, i don't care, that'll be eighty bucks". fucken ay! not that i will probs use it for much other than finallyyy lodging my passport application tomorrow [you have nooooo ideaaaa how much better i will feel... then the only thing standing between me & borneo is a thousand k's of desert & some kinda choppy waters..] & um, maybe hiring a jeep should i be in kenya & the mood strikes me to go off-roading.

i did hair for a friend's photo shoot on saturday. when she asked i was a bit 'oh shit oh shit do i still got it?' but then she said 'big hair' & i said 'i can do this thing you ask'...



( +9 )

GODDAMN I WILL I WILL AGAIN
I FUCKING WILL SEE IF I DONTTTTTT

#2 AVAILABLE FROM ALL PURVEYORS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS TOMORROW!

i really enjoyed autumn.

unnnnnnnngggghhghghghhhhhhhdon'twannagoterworkkkkkkkkkk
for cereal. we got this new cunt of a head chef at the hostel & he is a fucking asshat. he said some pretty racist shit to allen & treats me like a damn fool & cooked a vegetarian thing in chicken stock [& has all these fancy notions about hygiene]. it's well fucked. i am pretty sure that to him, i am just a girl & allen is just a gook. before this we didn't really have a boss, just the chicks who run the hostel itself & i never realised how much i was enjoying having female bosses til now hey. not that most of the men i have worked for have been chauvanist pigs or whatevs but there were many, i dunno, vague feelings of subservience, that it was incredibly great not to have... anyway we are not really sure what to do, it is only a few days in but i want him to just fuck off a lot. i dunno if i should go to management & say something now or sit on it. buh. i really just want to go beat him up for what he said to allen. xenophobes can eat shit.

BUT. this arvo was pretty sweet. my friend em shouted me a massage, FUCKEN WOAH! i never had one before. but we went & got nekkid & had all our stresses rubbed out like an eraser. i was kinda nervous cos i'm superrr ticklish & thought i would probably just giggle a lot but it was ok! better than ok. came out all squiggly-wriggly afterwards & went to essen & sank into chairs & drank lots of tea, & i didn't have to get up & collect glasses or take orders or do anything! chairman wow. then i went & bought a box of fancy tea, for ME. EXTRAVAGANT PURCHASE. then i went to my mate james' for VEGAN SUSHI what he made me. i have awesome friends. then i rode my bike home & whistled in the rain.

i want 10k saved by end of august, && i am almost half there. pretty righteous. i will have to start smoking cigars just to light them offa all the fat wads of cash i will have, or something.

issue #2 is HAPPENING, i swear. i just have like no time. but lots of love.

the name taklamakan desert actually translates to the "You Go In & You Won't Come Out" desert.

i keep goin to make total BUMMER DUUUUDE entries all the time because everything is horse shit, but INSTEAD here are some pictures of my awesome CASA! i could take good pictures for you because dion gave me this AMAZING camera to replace all the ones i have left in trucks/had smashed up in fights/had stolen by mexican crackheads over the last year but i lost my battery charger because i am retarded! & the house likes to swallow things up! it giveth, & it taketh away.


we had a couchsurfer from munich last week, he was pretty cool, but kind of weird [for what it's worth we're not amazing couch-hosts either hahahaha, i'm at work like all the time & me & liz don't wanna do touristy shit, so when people stay we've just been like ummmmm let's GO BUY GOON & LAUGH AT SHIT IN ALDI!]. he turned the tv on, we only figured out how to make our tv work once, for eurovision, so i put a stencil of stalin over the telly after he was gone. i wanna go paint it over KREMLIN BAR in town too because it's kind of retarded.


this is my ROOM. how fucken nuts is that! a whole ROOM! i feel heaps bad for having so much space for myself, like i kinda wanna call up some family of 17 kids that live in a mudbrick shack somewhere & tell them to come chill on my huge balcony & share my bed, but i don't have any numbers!


i even have a bed in my room! it's made out of milk crates. but sometimes, i like to go & sleep out on the couch [if there is not somebody on it] because i kind of miss sleeping on couches.


it's my nice cello! i missed it so much. i bought a really crap one for fifty quid in edinburgh but this one is much nicer.


this is one of our bunny whabbits, it is seriously hard to feel bad about life when you are looking at them.

we have a kitchen too where exciting things grow [we are filth wizards] & a bathroom where there is a washing machine we don't use very much.

anyway things are not all horse shit it just FEEEEEEEEEEELLLSSS like that a lotta the time yunno? i just can't wait to go back to doing exciting things in places that are not here because i really fucking fail at this normal life shit. i get mad stress about not being cool or pretty enough all the time, like even going in to fucking work at essen, & i fucking WORK there for fucks. but then i think, maybe these people haven't done half as much cool or exciting stuff as me & i am leaving real soon to go do more epic shitt, so i just gotta Hang In There, Tiger.
also i gotta start lookin after meself better, i dunno, when i get into this Work Yrself Into The Ground thing it totally doesn't do me any favours, i know i'm saving like whoa but i just end up a cranky mess & i'm not eating right or sleeping enough & i don't have any time to exer-cise & i know i feel loads better when i do that & i've lost count of the number of friends i've piked on because i have to work, or when i'm not working i just have nothing. left. i forget what balance is like. gonna go buy some vitamin pills tomorrow. that sounds like a good start.

the greatest thing about only getting into bob dylan when you are 21 is that it is like being fourteen & hearing nirvana for the first time again, you walk around all OH MY GOD HAVE YOU HEARD THIS GUY?? NO REALLY HAVE YOU LISTENED TO HIGHWAY 61 LIKE ACTUALLY LISTENED HOLYYYY SHIT




THANKS MEGAN + B33R FOR MY AWESOME TAT


she has one too
BLOOD SISTERZ LOL

To Protect an Ancient City, China Moves to Raze It




... Nine hundred families already have been moved from Kashgar’s Old City, “the best-preserved example of a traditional Islamic city to be found anywhere in central Asia,” as the architect and historian George Michell wrote in the 2008 book “Kashgar: Oasis City on China’s Old Silk Road.”

Over the next few years, city officials say, they will demolish at least 85 percent of this warren of picturesque, if run-down homes and shops. Many of its 13,000 families, Muslims from a Turkic ethnic group called the Uighurs (pronounced WEE-gurs), will be moved.

In its place will rise a new Old City, a mix of midrise apartments, plazas, alleys widened into avenues and reproductions of ancient Islamic architecture “to preserve the Uighur culture,” Kashgar’s vice mayor, Xu Jianrong, said in a phone interview.

Demolition is deemed an urgent necessity because an earthquake could strike at any time, collapsing centuries-old buildings and killing thousands. “The entire Kashgar area is in a special area in danger of earthquakes,” Mr. Xu said. “I ask you: What country’s government would not protect its citizens from the dangers of natural disaster?” ...


more at http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/28/world/asia/28kashgar.html?_r=1&hp

Ahmad Ghyasi (202.86.17.235) -

Hello,
I am looking for an interpretor for a period of 1 month. We are visiting Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan and Kazakistan for business match making. We are looking for a professional translation service who will accompany us in the trips in the above countries.

Requirements:

1. Should be a national of any of the above 3 countries.
2. Should speak fluent Russian and English
3. very good interpersonal skills and communications skills
4. Fresh university graduates or students willing to wokr for one month are encouraged.
5. Preferably female.
6. Should have access to internet in their home country.

Salary:

1. Very good salary (upto US$ 700 for one month) excluding travel, food, accomodation and travel allowance
2. Salary would differ depending on experience.

Interested candidates, email farshid.ghyasi@gmail.com / farshid@premc.net

Ahmad Ghyasi

Reply #3 Muhammad Nadeem (119.30.88.157) -

Dear Sir

I want to job in uzbekistan I have goo experinnce of international Markeeting.My bio data is as under.

NAME; MUHAMMAD NADEEM.

EDUCATION; B.A.

WORK EXPER; 5YAERS MARKEETIN MANAGER IN DOBAI AND THREE TAERS IN UZBEKISTAN AS TOUREST MANAGER.

LENGUAGES; RUSSIA ENGLISH ARABI URDO HINDI PUNJABI

PERSONALITY; BUTIFUL

SEX. MALE

COMPUTOR; WORD EXEL INTERNET POWER POINT

CELL; 00998936230138 00923216088220.

RESIDENCE; DEARA DOBAI